I’m Terrified I Might Hate Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom

Many years ago, when our moms were moms, staying at home with the kids and looking after the house is what married women and married women with children did.  Times changed and many moms chose a career and daycare as the norm.  I do not believe that either choice is right or wrong.  Each family has to choose their own path, as is their right.

On the Rise

Part of the reason the number of stay-at-home moms has increased in recent years, after three decades of decline, is due in part to the labor force prejudice against those without college degrees, and the increase in child care costs, making it a liability for mothers to work outside the home.  Many families have devised unique strategies to ensure their children would be cared for by a parent instead of by a stranger or even another family member.

This type of arrangement takes many forms, one of which is parents who work opposing shifts so that at least one of them is home with the children most of the time.  Many parents also despair at missing the “firsts” – first step, first word, first tooth, etc.

I’m Terrified I Might Hate Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom


It’s Hard

Parents know child-rearing is not for the faint of heart and requires long hours of, sometimes, thankless work.  While it is true that this applies mostly to mothers, there are some fathers in the group as well.  I cannot help but think of the time when the family consisted of not only a mother, father and children, but also grandparents and other family members sharing a home and the work required to run it.

It is true when the kids leave the nest, you wonder where the time went, but when you are in the trenches, it is hard to see the way out.  The truth will set you free if you will tell it, and dealing with children all day is hard.  A stay-at-home mom is on duty 24/7 and she still must work on cleaning or cooking even when the children nap.  Day after day with no adult conversation quickly gets old.  It’s not an easy job, no matter who says, “You’re so lucky!”  Really?

Ditch the Guilt

Some moms are not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom.  It doesn’t make you a bad mother if you do not feel happy being at home all the time.  When my children were born I loved working and went back after four weeks both times.  I adore them both and was lucky to have wonderful caregivers and we all grew up fine.  On the other side of the coin, stay-at-home moms come through the experience with everyone in one piece.

With the internet at our fingertips, there are many things to do without leaving home.  Obviously, child rearing often does not yield much free time for Mom, but it does offer a few minutes here and there, and with Facebook and other social media, it’s easier than ever to have some contact outside your four walls and to take advantage of all that advice and support out there.  The bottom line is this:

All of us are doing the best we can with what we have to work with and no one has the right to make you feel bad or even judge how you feel.  If you wind up hating being a stay-at-home mom, reach out to others, try to modify your “job”, and, sometimes, go outside, sit in the car and just scream really loud.  Then brace yourself and get back in there!



7 Secrets of Happy Moms

Every mom will tell you that they love their lives and wouldn't trade their kids for the world. That doesn't mean that they find themselves happy and completely satisfied all day, every day, but who does? Just like anybody else, it takes some proactive life-maneuvering to put yourself in a position to where you'll be happy more often than not.

Carve Out Alone Time

Moms are often on borrowed time; they're doing a million different things for a million different people, and at the end of the day there's no time for themselves. Imagine life before kids: you did what you wanted, when you wanted it. Transitioning to life with kids is the greatest blessing, but oftentimes that blessing overshadows the fact that we put ourselves on the back burner. You should actually carve out enough alone time to give yourself everything you need: spiritual nourishment, physical activity, and time to sit and enjoy something you love. How? Wake up an hour earlier, have a 10 minute time of prayer and meditation, go for a 30 minute run, and just sit and read for 20 minutes if that's what you love.

Secrets of Happy Moms

Carve Out Time with Your Spouse

Don't be too busy for your spouse... don't forget, they're the one who you fell in love with years before, who can make you laugh harder than anyone, the one you need to connect with regularly to feel satisfied in a happy marriage. Sometimes moms have the tendency to put the kids first. Happy moms, while keeping the kids a priority, protect their time with their spouse more than anything.

Carve Out Time for Friends

This one, of all of these, is probably one of the first to fall through, but don't let it! Girls need girl time. This may not be a regular occurrence, but try not to lose touch with your best friends during the busiest of your years. Have a standing monthly date night for your girls and stick to it! Let loose, talk, and enjoy time connecting with those friends.

Save Time for Family Fun

Families get so caught up in routine that often they forget to have fun. Don't get so focused on the routine that lies in the day ahead that you forget to stop and enjoy time with your growing kids. Yes, the playroom needs to be cleaned, but it can wait if that means you don't have time to participate in an impromptu fort building activity.

Only Do What You Love

Time is scarce; this is no foreign concept to moms everywhere. There is simply not enough time in the day to do everything you want or need to do. This is why we recommend that you prioritize, sometimes in a very serious manner. Don't stay stuck in a job you hate if you're a working mom. Start figuring out what you can do to transition out of it. Life's too short to spend it doing things you don't love.

Have a Routine

Many moms go about their days feeling scattered and not with it, which prevents them from really living in the moment since they're always looking ahead. Try having a set routine on a weekly basis that starts on Sundays when you sit down with your spouse to discuss the week ahead. Getting on the same page and having a written out schedule for the week will keep moms on task and happier for it.

Be Spontaneous

Don't be so focused on the task at hand that you're blind to opportunities to spontaneously love on your family. Veer off for an ice cream cone on the way home from school one day and enjoy that time with your family. It's ok to be a little off schedule if it means happy random surprises that fill your days.

Don't get caught up in a life that overwhelms or frustrates you with feeling like there's not enough time. Carve out time for yourself, your spouse, your friends and your family, do what you love, have a routine and be spontaneous, and you'll be happier for it.




Working Moms: Best Tips

Juggling work and mom-life can be overwhelming and quite frankly, mentally exhausting. Never-the-less, the bills must be paid and those kids have one “you”, so it must be done. The question is, how? Do you juggle work and mom life effectively, or do you feel more like an unorganized circus that gets tossed around throughout the day? There are things you can do to make the most of your time, whether it be driving the minivan or crunching numbers at work. 

Working Moms: Best Tips

Structure Your Days  

The number one thing that you can do that many moms just don't do is structure their days. Rather than writing out a plan for the week and then the day, working mom's just float from one “to-do” to the next; they're never present in their current activity, rather they're planning and anticipating what's next. Here's what we recommend: have a touch down meeting every Sunday afternoon with your spouse. Bring your planners and get on the same page for the week with your to-do's and want-to-do's. Take an extra 20 minutes after this meeting to do the same for your work week. At the start of each day, wake up 10-15 minutes earlier and refresh yourself on your list for the week. Take a chunk of activities and build them into a flexible schedule. Writing it out will keep you on task, and it will keep you from having to think ahead too much. 

Take Breaks 

Let's not pretend that you, working mom, are not going to check in on the nanny during the day, or send your husband a list of groceries to pick up on his way home. These things, although they seem small, add up and distract you from getting work items done. Rather than stopping mid-thought to call your husband, jot down a note that says, “Grocery list, call husband” and put it aside until one of your designated breaks. Set 10 minute breaks a couple of times throughout the day to accomplish these tasks, and don't let them intrude on your actual work time.

Set Boundaries  

Perhaps the biggest tip we can give you is to set boundaries. This applies to all working moms, but especially mom's that have work that could easily be brought home with them. Protect your family time just like you protect your work time by setting “office hours” and stating them bluntly in your email signature. Telling people in advance that you won't be available after 5:30pm everyday and will not respond on weekends will take pressure off of you and communicates to them that you are in charge of your schedule. To not set boundaries in this way muddles the lines of work and home life and sets yourself up for failure as people will begin to expect you to answer or respond at all hours on any day. The result? No work-life balance and a not-so-happy mom. 

Allow Flexibility  

Anyone who has kids knows that flexibility is a requirement. Schedules change, people get sick, school gets cancelled due to weather. Address all the foreseeable issues that may come up in your Sunday touchdown meeting with your spouse, and do your best to come up with contingencies for those. Otherwise, build in a little extra time during your day; don't plan it to the T. Lastly, give yourself grace if you stray from your schedule and always ask yourself, “If this doesn't get done; if we're 10 minutes late; if I miss half a work-day unexpectedly... what's the worst that could happen?”

You don't have to be overwhelmed to work and parent. Being proactive to structure your days, take breaks, set boundaries and allow plenty of flexibility will help you take pressure off yourself and to joyfully juggle all your top priorities with ease.



5 Pregnancy Power Foods

You've always done a decent job of eating well; not perfect, but good enough. Now that you're body is housing another human, like most women, all of the sudden you care a lot more. We hear a lot about what not to eat when you're pregnant, but what are the foods that you most definitely should eat? Are there super foods for pregnant women? Yes!       

5 Pregnancy Power Foods  

Dried Beans and Lentils  

Our bodies need an extra 10 grams of protein a day while pregnant. Protein provides us the energizing and muscle strengthening sustenance we need on a daily basis, and when a body is pregnant, it works twice as hard as it's accommodating two lives, not just one. Dried beans offer a whopping 15 grams of protein per cup, and as a plus they provide a great source of fiber, which help prevents constipation. Cooked lentils, in addition, meet half of your daily folate requirement. Adding beans or lentils to salads, soups or sandwiches will supercharge what you're consuming in a very effective way.

Nonfat Milk 

Your body absorbs twice as much calcium with baby, which is no surprise. The calcium you consume not only goes toward your bones, but it's also contributing to making baby's bones healthy as well. Most people (pregnant or not) actually don't meet their daily requirements for calcium, so if you're pregnant, go out of your way to be sure you're getting what you need. By far, the best source of calcium is milk. We don't recommend drinking high in fat milk several times a day, so opt for non-fat milk instead. It's all the benefits without the high fat content. 


Pregnancy often comes with fatigue, morning sickness and leg cramps, unfortunately. The best food to combat these things? Bananas. Bananas are rich in potassium, and offer quick energy to fight off pregnancy fatigue and ward off leg cramps whenever they surface. Though bananas may not fight morning sickness, they certainly will help soothe a stomach because of how easy they are to digest. 

Iron Rich Lean Meats

Iron rich lean meats pack a double punch in providing protein as well as helping you meet your daily iron needs, which double during pregnancy. Without an appropriate intake of iron, you're likely to feel very fatigued. Meat actually delivers iron that's easily absorbed by the body, and great for a quick boost of energy. 

Leafy Greens 

Mom always told you to eat your leafy greens, but now they're more important than ever. Darker colored leaves provide many more nutrients than regular lettuce, so opt for those instead. Greens like cooked spinach, kale, and turnip greens are high in folate, iron, calcium and other vitamin content that often goes overlooked.

Avoid what you need to avoid when you're pregnant, but go out of your way to consume these supercharged foods. They will prove to impact your health as well as your baby's in a huge positive way during pregnancy.



3 Signs You Might be Pregnant

Alright, so you haven’t missed your period yet, and you’ve got another week before it’s time to wonder where it’s gone. Until that period is missing, how can you figure out whether you’re pregnant? Missing a period is one of the sure signs to worry, but until then, are there other signs you’re missing? These three signs you might be pregnant can help you detect the possibility earlier than a missed period can!

3 Signs You Might be Pregnant

Period Symptoms Without the Period

When you’re not expecting your period, seeing a bit of blood in your panties can really ruin your day. What makes it worse is when you’re frantically gearing up for the river of blood, and it was nothing more than a bit of spotting. Cramps come in, annoying you more than paining you, and you’re sure that your period isn’t supposed to come for another week or so. What’s going on?

The fact of the matter is, a fertilized egg will stick to the walls of your uterus, and it’s attachment may cause your body to react in a way that looks like your period is coming. Spotting from the site, cramps from the sudden shift in your uterine wall, and nausea or faintness from the shift in hormones can mimic your period before it’s due.

Change in Taste Buds

You used to love pickles. Now the scent of them drives you crazy. Your own mother couldn’t shove an avocado on your plate and into your mouth, but now you can’t get enough of them. You may think you’re going crazy, and you’re asking what’s going on.

What’s happening is that your body is changing to adapt to the new hormones running through it, and preparing for the nine months of growth it’s going to be going through. Your taste buds are changing to help you eat the right food and get the right nutrients into your system. It might seem annoying, but eventually you’ll get used to it. And just think, once it’s all over, you can gross out your friends by telling them how you had pickles and peanut butter for a midnight snack!

Down in the Dumps

What about your sleeping habits? You’ve been getting a full night’s sleep every night, but you’re still tired all day. You can’t seem to get up and going, and when you do, you feel faint or nauseous. You may fear you’re getting sick, or that you’re becoming slightly depressed. After all, those unexplained mood swings can’t mean anything else. Can they?

In fact, they can. Fatigue, nausea, faintness, dizziness, and rapid mood swings can all be signs of pregnancy. Pair them all up together, and you’ll probably feel miserable for a while. Your body is now coming to terms with the fact that is has a seed inside of it that needs incubating and growth. The hormones released by the pregnancy are making your body change inside and out, meaning you’re left clueless and tired. All you need to do is wait it out for another week or two, and grab a home pregnancy test to make sure. Grab a couple from the dollar store, if you want, to make sure you don’t get a false positive. Congratulations, and good luck, mom!



5 Sexy and Sensual Tips for Busy Moms

For many women, giving birth or becoming a mother changes the way they feel about their sensuality. For some, the hormones, sleep deprivation and stress make intimacy one of the that things they’re thinking about. Don’t worry, this too shall pass. When it does, here are 5 sexy and sensual tips for busy moms.

5 Sexy and Sensual Tips for Busy Moms

#1 Appreciate Your Body

Instead of thinking about the extra baby weight or the toll taken by the birth process, focus on this amazing feat your body has just accomplished. You’ve given birth to a baby. Your body, which you may look upon with sadness or feelings of insecurity has carried your baby and provided the environment for nourishment and growth. If you’ve recently adopted, you might feel like the exhaustion and stress of being a new mom has caused you to neglect your own body by living on caffeine and snack foods and foregoing exercise for sleep. Whatever the reason, start reframing your thoughts about body image and celebrate the body you’re in.


#2 Practice Self-Care

Trust us, you will feel better when you’ve showered, shaved your legs and fixed your hair or makeup. When you look better, you naturally feel better. When your self-confidence is up, you will naturally feel sexier. So, treat yourself to some of those spa treatments you used to indulge in before kits. Make a date for a mani/pedi, facial or body treatment. Couple that with a night in with your honey and an off-site babysitter for the kids.


#3 Buy Sexy Lingerie

Go ahead and splurge on something special from the lingerie department. It doesn’t have to be a corset and fishnets – choose a satin chemise or a super-soft nightshirt. Just wearing sensual clothing can make you feel more amorous. While you’re at it, break out the cute bra and panty sets you used to wear before you had kids. Your partner will thank you and you’ll begin to rediscover your sensual side.


#4 Rediscover Romance

Don’t let the demands of parenting rob you of the joy of an intimate relationship. Make the time to connect with your partner. If you need to, schedule a “date night” at least once a month. Enlist the help of a fellow mom for babysitting. In fact, if you offer to trade nights once each month, you’ll both be getting more ‘grownup time’ without the kids.


#5 Ditch the Guilt

Why do moms feel such guilt at making time for themselves and satisfying their own needs? Your kids will not be scarred by spending time with a sitter so that you and your spouse can go out to dinner and stop off at home for “alone time” before picking them up. Make arrangements for your kids to be cared for then consider it a “green light” for some grownup fun. The upside is that, when you are connected with your partner and you have intimacy and sensuality in your life, you will be less stressed and happier for your kids. Follow these 5 sexy and sensual tips for busy moms and you’ll feel sexier, happier and ready to have fun – with or without your kids.




8 Easy Tips for Feeling Sexy as a Mom

Between kids, work, errands and the million other things you have to cram into your week, who has time—or energy-- to feel sexy? Believe it or not, you do! And by taking care of the sexy you, you’ll not only feel better but you’ll be a better parent as well. Here are four easy tips to help you get your sexy back.

8 Easy Tips for Feeling Sexy as a Mom

1. Embrace who you are. Despite what most advertisers would have you think, being sexy is a lot more than having a Barbie doll figure and face. In fact, very few of us look like the models in fashion magazines. Be proud of your “mom body” with its soft curves and slight imperfections. As you begin to embrace your changing shape, you’ll find that others will respond in kind.


2. Remember that sexy is an attitude. Some of the sexiest women on the planet are ones that have their own sense of style and self-confidence—especially the motherly type. Think of Betty Crocker and Flo from Progressive Insurance. Neither of these women are picture perfect but a great many men find them sexier than today’s hottest super model.


3. Dress up. It’s simple advice but you’ll be amazed how much better you feel if you get out of the sweatpants and into an outfit that you feel amazing in. Better yet, put on some simple makeup—even lipstick and mascara will do—to feel like a million bucks.


4. Wear lingerie. Buy some flattering lingerie. There are many options for any body type whether busty or big bottomed or super skinny. Fashion magazines are generally full of advice on what styles look best on what body types. Similarly, your pajamas don’t need to consist of oversized t-shirts and baggy shorts. A wide variety of gowns and cute pajama pants and top sets exist.


5. Find a luxury that makes you feel sexy. This will vary widely depending on your preferences but the common thread is that is should make you feel sexy. It might be a bubble bath, a manicure or applying some great smelling lotion. Just make sure to treat yourself with it.


6. Surprise your partner. If your partner has gotten used to seeing you in jeans and a t-shirt every day, then surprise him with skirt, sweater, perfume and a hint of makeup. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it but breaking out of the routine can stir things up for both of you.


7. Talk about things other than the kids and the house. Keep in touch with what’s going on in the real world by watching the evening news or scanning online news websites or the daily newspaper. By being informed and opinionated you’ll be able to have interesting and stimulating conversations with your partner and friends that go well beyond the best type of diaper.


8. Serve dinner by candlelight.  Any dinner, even meatloaf, automatically feels sexier if served at a candlelit table. Throw in a bottle of red wine if you want to clinch the effect.




5 First Date Tips For Single Moms

Have an Engaging Conversation

While it may seem that your life revolves around your kids, keep in mind that your date may not have children and may want to know some information about your child—your date doesn’t necessarily want to know everything. Talking about your child can be a conversation killer, because your date may not be able to relate and therefore it ends up with you talking and you date listening the whole time. The conversation should be engaging for both parties. Use your judgment--if your date is asking many questions about your child(ren) and seems interested, by all means talk about them. However, if the conversation is just dragging on for the sake of conversation, find a topic that you are both interested in.

5 First Date Tips For Single Moms

Avoid Talking About Your Ex

Your ex may come up in the conversation but you want to keep it vague. On the first date, you are trying to determine if you and your date are compatible enough for a second date—save the details about you and your ex until you know things are going to get more serious between you and your date. Otherwise, many single moms end up talking negatively about their ex, dissing him, blaming him, etc. This makes you come off as dramatic and your date will want no part of it. Instead, spend less time talking about your ex so that your date will know that you have moved on and are ready to find someone to spend the rest of your life with.

Don’t Over Dress

One of the biggest mistakes made by single moms on their first date, along with many women in general- with kids or not, is feeling the need to over dress. These women believe they need to look overly sexy in order to catch their dates attention in hopes of guaranteeing a second date. Whether it be a short dress, big heals, a busty neck line, or a tight fit, these clothes can be uncomfortable and distracting. If you are looking for a long term partner, you don’t want to be dressing for a one night stand. Instead, wear something that you feel confortable and attractive in. The last thing you need is for a wardrobe malfunction on your first date—then you may be too embarrassed to go out with him again.

Be Present

Being a single mom usually means that you are going to have to hire a babysitter to watch your children while you are on your date. You need to hire a sitter that you trust because if not, you are going to be checking your phone non-stop throughout the night looking to see if the sitter is having any problems. It is completely normal to worry about your kids while you are out, however you need to ease this stress with a good sitter so that you can be present in the moment on your date and not having your mind somewhere else.

Don’t Introduce Your Date to Your Kids

Many single moms want their child to meet their date before or after the night out. This is a terrible idea—your child, especially if they are not used to you dating, will feel overwhelmed and potentially threatened by a new person in your life. Instead, wait for a few more dates until you can determine if he is going to be long term or not.



5 Tips to Transform from Single Mom to Hot Mama

It is easy to fall into the pitfalls of being a single mom, especially when you have more than one child. However, transforming from single mom to hot mama is possible for any mom who wants to make the jump. The key to the transformation from single mom to hot mama is confidence.  Most single moms fall into the slump of not taking care of themselves, always taking care of their kids, so they don’t feel attractive, sexy, or desireable. You don’t have to fall into this slump, you just need to regain that confidence again. Here are 5 tips to transforming from single mom to hot mama.

5 Tips to Transform from Single Mom to Hot Mama

Work Out

One of the best ways to re-gain your confidence is to feel good about yourself. Working out will be a way to shave off pounds while also allowing you to reduce your stress levels and feel the endorphins that make you feel good. You can work-out at your home, with a program like P90x, or just going outside for a walk or run, or join a gym. I recommend joining a gym, as it will allow you to take part in group fitness classes where you can meet new people and working out with other people is always more fun than working out alone. Zumba seems to becoming more and more popular among moms and it is a easy and fun way to lose weight. Yoga is also a means of working out that not only helps build your core strength, burning calories, but also helps with mind control and can reduce stress.


Purchase New Clothes.

Whether your having to lay down on the bed and suck in your stomach as much as you can to button your jeans or your jeans are so big and baggy you need to use a belt to hold them up—we’ve all experienced it one way or another. In order to gain confidence and feel good, and look good, you need to wear clothes that FIT! Clothes begin to have sentimental value, which is why it gets hard to throw them away, or they cost so much that you still want to keep and wear the item even though it is out of style now. But having new clothes that align with your age and your personality is key to the Hot Mama transformation.


Update Your Hair

Having a new do is a major way to embrace change. If you have ever seen a make-over show, like What Not to Wear on TLC, a new haircut is a huge part of the transformation. Having a new do will allow you to see yourself in a new light and have to adjust and embrace the new you. Also, for those moms who are starting to see a few grays here or there, this is a time to try coloring your hair! While “granny hair” is trendy now, if you want to get rid of the grays be daring a try a color or, if not so daring, pick a shade that is closest to your hair natural color.


Make Time For Yourself.

Most moms seem to do it—They put everyone else first and themselves last. However, if you are taking care of yourself, you can better help others! Make time to get your nails done or get a massage. You time is important, not only for yourself but also to become a Hot Mama.


Have a Hobby.

Having a hobby will give you more confidence; If you are good at something, you feel good about it and therefore yourself. If you truly want to embrace a new life as a Hot Mama, think about trying a brand new hobby, like rock climbing or Zumba. Yet, if you already have a hobby that you enjoy, embrace your current hobby!



5 Activities to Help Moms Bond With Their Teen Daughters

Being a parent can be very challenging throughout the teen years, but parents also want to keep their relationships healthy and connected in the meantime.  Moms, in particular, may want to know how to bond closer to their daughters through the teen years and we’re here to share five activities that we think will help you do just that.


Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This…

Easing the Growing Pains

5 Activities to Help Moms Bond With Their Teen DaughtersOne of the hardest parts of the teen years is dealing with the fluctuation of hormones and the turbulence of the emotions.  There will be plenty of difficult conversations to have when your teen daughter is going through puberty and shopping for new undergarments.  So what can you do to keep a close bond with your daughter even as you are helping her through some challenging changes?  Here are a few ideas for when you sense that your daughter needs some rest and reprieve from the growing pains:

  • Plan a girls’ day of shopping with a pretty lunch spot or try out one of the local bed and breakfasts for a weekend getaway.  Show your daughter how much you care about her and also teach her how to take time to care for herself as she grows older!
  • Get a massage or pedicures together.  It doesn’t have to be expensive, but every girl needs time to feel special for just being a girl.


Beautiful Inside and Out

Teaching Beauty Techniques

Of course, you already know your daughter is beautiful, but the teen years can be a time when your daughter struggles to believe that she is beautiful.  Her hormones may affect her complexion and she is learning to use make-up and fix her hair as well.  Moms, here are some ways you can help your daughter find her outside beauty while reminding her of the importance of her inside beauty too:

  • Make a salon date and help your daughter talk to the professionals in choosing a haircut that works best for her and maybe even learning a few make-up tips.
  • Remind your daughter of the beauty that she is for her passions and do something to help her invest in that as well.  Is it music or art?  Animals or children?  Science or History?  Whatever it is, take her to do something to help her appreciate the beauty she already is along with the beauty she still wants to become.


The Present is a Gift

Being in the NOW

Sometimes life is just awkward and difficult and challenging.  Sometimes you can’t do fancy things with your daughter or make her teenage years as smooth as you both might wish they could be.  When you are in those moments, remember that just being present with your daughter is a gift in and of itself.  Give her a hug.  Cry with her.  Laugh with her.  Dig out the chocolate and bake something decadent together.  Tell her you love her.  Just be yourself and be her mom.