5 Things Moms Should Never Feel Guilty About

Things Moms Should Never Feel Guilty About

Some moms do guilt better than others, but most feel like they have not done all they can at some times.  Before you beat yourself up much, remember, you are not SuperMom, we’re all just humans, and, as humans, we make mistakes, errors in judgment, and do some silly things sometimes.  Be kind to yourself.

Where to Start?

There is so much to feel guilty about for most Moms so picking five is hard, but here goes.

  • Realizing you don’t have it all together.  You see other moms who seem to be skipping through life with not a care in the world.  Her house is immaculate, her baby happy and precocious, dinner on the table at 6 sharp, and she still has time to attend to her husband’s marital needs.  Either you are hallucinating, she is very good at keeping up appearances, or you are delusional. During stressful times, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyone else’s life is perfect, but it’s not.  We all are out there trying to do things the best we know how and, many times, flying by the seat of our pants.  If the house is a wreck, if you never get dressed, if dinner comes from the freezer section don’t sweat it.  The fact is, even if it feels like this time lasts forever, it doesn’t.  Some day your house will be restored to order, but enjoy this time as much as you can.  You’ll never get it back.
  • Not volunteering for the PTA or other school functions like field trips.  I know you want to volunteer, but to be honest, sometimes you just don’t feel like heading a committee, corralling 20 students around the zoo, or hanging 5,000 streamers.  You just don’t.  Once in awhile it’s good to give another parent a chance to step up and help.
  • Scheduling birthday parties outside of your home, meaning Chuckie Cheese, McDonalds, roller rink, whatever.  If you have no desire to clean your house top to bottom, plan, decorate, schedule, invite, hire entertainment, and buy a ton of food, don’t feel bad.  You and your counterparts are keeping various establishments in business, helping the economy, and creating jobs for teenagers.  It’s practically philanthropic!
  • Allocating dinner time to your sitter.  Every mom wants to make healthy homemade food for her family, but some just don’t have the time.  Once kids are older there is school and homework and bedtime, etc.  In the interest of eating before midnight, getting homework done and keeping your sanity, speak with your sitter to see if she would be amenable to making dinner in exchange for a few more dollars in her pocket.  If you don’t have a sitter at home, check into meal services in your area.  A popular service is similar to catering, but involves someone coming into your home once a week, preparing family meals to be frozen with directions on how long to cook, etc. so you can pop it in as soon as you get home.  Or try some Crockpot dinners for a ready meal.
  • Being too tired for story time every night.  Sometimes everything seems to get crazy all at one time.  The kids are in a play at school, they are involved in sports, you have to work overtime, and your husband is out of town, phew!  That’s a lot going on.  At the end of these kinds of days, it’s no shame for you to want an early bedtime for the kids and a glass of wine for you.

Things will happen, or not.  It doesn’t mean you are a bad mother because things get mucked up here and there.  Millions of children around the work are being raised by fallible humans, and turning out just fine.  Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Kids will remember the good times and forget the rest.

[Image]

 

Your Family Can Come First

13-06-17 family board game 900x600

Moms today are often busy with responsibilities from work, their friends and extended family, volunteer or community activities and more. While you may feel a strong devotion to each of these areas, your heart lies with your spouse and children. However, with so many different forces pulling you in seemingly all directions, many mothers feel as though they don’t have time or energy to do it all. At the end of the day, when you close your eyes at night, you know that the most important thing is for your kids and husband to know that you put them first before everything else. While your schedule almost every day may seemingly take you to the ends of the earth and back, you want those who you love most in the world to know they matter to you.

Set Time Aside For Them Each Day

When it comes to letting your loved ones know how important they are to you, it is the little things in life that matter so much. If you are a working mom, you may find it difficult to get to all of the kids’ different events at school and their extracurricular activities. Life is a great balancing act, and sometimes, the forces in your life will take you away from places where your heart really wants to be. However, when you make a strong effort to sit down with your kids every day and have a one-on-one conversation with them, they will know that they matter. Whether in the morning while they are eating breakfast, in the evening before they go to bed or even on the phone with a call while you are thinking about them, having a conversation with them and actively listening to them every day can mean so much.

Plan Special Events

While taking a few minutes out of your day regularly will let them know that they are important in your life, you should also plan special events on a regular basis. These events can be full-day events, such as a special outing to the beach or the zoo. However, they can also be fun activities at home that take only an hour or two. For example, everyone in your family can spend time in the kitchen one evening making their own individual pizza, or you can schedule a regular family game night.

Busy moms like you unfortunately have to make tough decisions in life. It is impossible to always be everywhere you need or want to be. However, when you put these ideas to work in your life, those closest to you will know that they are important to you.

How Busy Moms Ace Homework and Other School Activities

13-04-22 parents helping with homework 900x600

Today, most moms are busy regardless of whether they are stay-at-home mothers or work outside the home. But, moms still want to be of assistance to their children in all aspects of their lives. Consider some tips for parents that can simplify some daily activities.

Homework Time

Busy parents can still assist kids with homework. It's wise to set a specific time for homework so kids won't be working on math assignments until midnight. For kids who are having trouble with a subject, parents can take them on a trip to the library for helpful supplemental materials. In addition, it's effective for parents to reward kids who put forth their best efforts on challenging and easy assignments alike.

Encouraging Extracurricular Activities

There are a lot of reasons for moms to encourage their children to choose an extracurricular activity. For one, an activity can help a kid to make more friends. For instance, a child with an interest in acting or set decoration can help with the school play. The child will have the opportunity to meet other kids with a shared interest in theater. Sometimes a kid knows exactly what he or she wants to do and other times a kid needs a little nudge...

A mom who wants to encourage a kid to try an extracurricular activity can share her positive experiences. For example, she may have run for class president in the seventh grade. She could describe the fun of making campaign posters and the excitement of the political debates with other students. A first-hand story from mom can go a long way to encouraging a kid to try an activity.

Helping with a Class Project

One way that a mom can be helpful to a kid who has a class project is to brainstorm ideas. For instance, if a daughter in the sixth grade is trying to figure out what to do for her history class project, parents can throw out some suggestions. This may prompt her to build on one of the suggestions or come up with a fresh idea.

Another way parents can assist a kid with a class project is to take them shopping for materials. Of course, it's best to establish a budget beforehand! Parents can answer kids' questions on what types of materials to buy as well as the quantities. Shopping together makes it a fun, shared experience.